Uh oh. Somebody call Jason Kenney or an exorcist.
Or an embalmer.
There is trouble in the Garden of Steve.
For at least the second time in recent months, Stephen Harper is being called on to deal with the conduct of Eve Adams, an Ontario MP who was once considered a showcase member of the Conservative government.
Harper has asked the party's governing body to investigate allegations against Adams lodged by rank-and-file members in a southern Ontario riding, the Prime Minister's Office confirmed Tuesday.
Steve has been forced to slither down from his perch to deal with yet another scandal. Eve has been causing a ruckus at a car wash.
Gas station owner John Newcombe said Adams, who was upset over a $6 car wash she deemed unsatisfactory, used her car to partially block access to the refuelling area at his west-end Esso station for 15 minutes last December.
Security camera footage from that day shows her vehicle parked directly in front of a pump lane, with traffic backing up behind it. Newcombe said he asked her repeatedly to move the car, but to no avail.
Dimitri is no doubt sorry...
And Canadians haven't seen anything like it since Helena Guergis had a hissy fit in an airport.
And Great Moral Leader used her husband's coke problems as an excuse to expel her from his presence...
Because he does enjoy punishing women.
But of course punishing Adams won't be as easy as punishing Guergis. Because Eve is Eve, and not one to go quietly. Dimitri is madly in love with her.
And he probably knows enough about the inner workings of the Con mob to send Harper to this place...
Or at the very least remove him from power in handcuffs.
And of course the best thing about all of this is that none of it would be happening if Harper wasn't losing his iron grip on the party.
Caucus members are looking at their tanking polls and scrambling for safe or safer seats. Some in the party are daring to say out loud what once they didn't dare whisper.
The young fanatics that make up Harper's inner circle are universally despised.
And some of those bitterly fought nomination battles are sure to leave deep scars, like the attempt to topple Rob Anders.
Which of course is the last thing the Cons need as they prepare for the next election campaign, the one Soudas was brought in to supervise.
The one that was supposed to make his government look fresh and new/nouveau again. The one that was supposed to make him look like a nice guy.
Instead of a crazed despot...
Like Dimitri tried to do by setting up Harper's YouTube propaganda channel.
Only to fail miserably.
Because these days nothing works eh? It's all falling apart.
His Con regime is too old, too tired, and too corrupt to save. It started rotting from the head down like a fish. And now it's rotting all over.
Gosh. What more could I ask for?
And just as Spring finally arrived in the place where I live...
The Winter from Hell is finally over. The Regime from Hell is almost done.
The ice is breaking up, Stephen Harper is cracking up.
And better days are coming...
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Yeah, but to hear Ian Morrison from TVO tell it, hudak is probably going to be the next emperor of Ontario, according to the Nanos polls so, obviously, the harpie regime is still alive and well after all. We'd all LOVE to believe you, Simon, but those polls never lie, do they? Does soudas or adams own Nanos or is it owned by one of the harpie crime cabal by any chance? I'm not sayin' . . . I'm just sayin'. Sort of like j.d. power and generous motors. ;-)
ReplyDeletehi anon...I can't predict the future, but what I can do is look around and declare that the Cons have never been in so much trouble. They are also perceived by most Canadians to be a tired government, and polls have also noted a strong desire for change. The economy isn't doing that well either. So if you put all that together, and remember that the Senate scandal and the robocall scandal are still to have their day in court,
Deleteam I really too optimistic or are you too pessimistic... :)
Poor Dear Leader is in a conundrum. Give Eve a reprieve and face his party's wrath or give her the boot and face Dimitri's ire for hurting his "true love". He needs to deflect attention and show his great judgement by umm... appointing Vic Toews to the supreme court in charge of revamping the rules for babysitting. We'll call it the "16 wont get you 20 law". :)
ReplyDeletehi anon...well appointing Vicky to the Supreme Court certainly would be a distraction. I'd have to put extra bars on my windows to keep out that zombie. Luckily I don't believe that's going to happen, but you're right, Harper will be looking for anything to keep us distracted. He's got the big celebration of the 100th anniversary of the First World War coming up. And I just heard he wants to visit China soon, so get ready for more pandas. But as I've said before Harper must deal with the perception that he has been in power for too long. That's his biggest problem, and it's one he can't do anything about. The longer he sticks around the worse that problem will become. And all those scandals will only convince more Canadians that it's time he got the hook. We tend, due to the nature of the internet, to concentrate on one problem at a time. But perception is formed by all of them, so if I was Great Leader I would seriously consider quitting before he gets he hook...
DeleteAd the millions 24/7 is costing to the Economic Action plan Ads and other propaganda and I bet your closing in on a Billion Dollars for smoke blowing.
ReplyDeletehi Steve...I haven't the slightest doubt that the price of all that Con propaganda is by now well over a billion dollars. I did a rough calculation a few months ago and it came to almost $800-million. And that's without adding up all the other hidden costs, like the cost of having a six person crew produce his 24/7 personal propaganda YouTube channel. Or the cost of remaking all the government's websites which the Cons have been doing for the last year. Or even the cost of running those Porky Action Plan ads during the Superbowl.
DeleteNo modern democratic government has ever brainwashed its citizens like the Cons have done. And it is of course, one more reason to remove them from office as soon as is humanly possible...
Thanks for my dose of morning optimism Simon. You're getting me through.
ReplyDeletehi Kirby...my pleasure. If I can make a good progressive and person like you feel a bit more optimistic it makes me happy, because we are living through a horrible time, and we need to console and motivate ourselves with the beautiful thought of something better. And of course, I have worked out the perfect formula to get me through this Dark Age. I like to dispense two tea spoonfuls of optimist to all my readers (three for you) and then chug the rest of the bottle myself... ;)
DeleteOne thing is so painfully obvious in all of this: different standards for women. A $16 glass of OJ gets you a public thrashing but a few million spent on gazebos in Huntsville gets a male member of the inner circle a plumb post courtesy of the public trough. Where was the full investigation of Wright? Didn't harper just accept his resignation, although to his credit, he did end up throwing him under the bus.
ReplyDeleteIs it just misogyny or is it prick worship
Deletehi bcwaterboy...you're absolutely right. I have written about this many times before. I took the graphic I used tonight from a very old post. Harper is much gentler on the male members of his government than he is on the women. He is happier running a boy's club, turning the air around him blue with vulgar swearing. And of course from the moment he came to power he has been undermining women's rights, and trying to encourage them to stay at home.
DeleteAs for Wright, he threw himself under the bus, and Harper only took credit for it, like he's now taking with Dimitri, to try to make himself look good. A fraud from start to finish...
hi anon 8:43... well if you're asking about Pierre Poilievre I believe the answer is obviously. If it looks like a prick, and in quacks like a prick it must be Pierre... ;)
DeleteSimon, have you considered a career in writing? Or perhaps even better - "political stand-up comedy" - because the latter would be a winner on the circuit.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you could impromptu create cartoons on stage like the ones you have above, then I think we're onto a winner here.
Simon Says & His Charcoal Friends
Go for it.
Anonymous A
You do a fine service right here but if you feel a calling go for it. The CBC was subtly paying with some of these ideas but I saw it here first.
Deletehi anon... I am actually quite interested in writing, poetry and fiction. It's quite different from the stuff I write here. I'm particularly interested in a new form of story telling which combines writing and videos. But as for being a stand-up comic I think I would be too shy for that. And of course without talent. I'm afraid I'm the kind of guy who makes his friends howl with laughter when I'm trying to be serious. Gawd. However when it comes to mocking the Cons with my crude photoshops I'm good to go until the day they are defeated...
DeleteEve Adams. Just visiting
ReplyDeletehi anon...it would be nice to see Eve ride through a car wash and get stuck in the middle. With jets of water coming at her from every direction, and those monster brushes whirling endlessly around her. But if you're talking about her just visiting Parliament I'm not so sure of that. Getting rid of Eve won't be easy, and she won't go quietly...
DeleteWell, just to play devil's advocate here, many's the time I've wanted to block a gas station line-up over a shitty carwash, or just the price of fuel...
ReplyDeleteI agree that Emperor Steve has a real conundrum on his hands..one thing about Soudas, if he gets frustrated enough, he could sing like a balding canary and really hurt the Cons...and if Ms.
Adams ultimately decides that her fiance ain't worth the hassle, look out Steve....
hi mizdarlin...yes but the difference is you just THOUGHT about it, which is only human, but she DID IT which is outrageous. I mean, one of my fondest dreams would be to moon Harper as he went by in his motorcade, but I wouldn't do it. But yes, Harper is in a delicate position. He's dealing with two tough customers, and if he isn't careful he really could pay the price. I see he's trying to play Pontius Pilate, and pretending to wash his hands of the problem. But everybody knows that he'll be following the situation closely, and nothing can change the fact that he hired Dimitri against the wishes of many. And he was left looking, once again, like a bozo with no judgment...
DeleteThe world knows. Harper is going to cheat this next election, as he did the last election with his robo-call fraud. Other countries say, the *Fair* Election Plan is not fair, what-so-ever. Poilievre is just another of Harper's, gutless cowed henchmen and/or, is missing most of his marbles as Herr Harper is. Harper and Baird were embarrassing, during the Putin, Crimea fiasco. Harper is an embarrassment everywhere he goes. If Harper's mouth was a little bigger? He could get both of his feet in it.
ReplyDeleteHarper's list of degenerates is as, long as his arm. Adams and Soudas are very little different than the other so called Cons are. Some of Harper's degenerates are off to prison and some, are even in prison. Porter is begging, to be let out of prison. I don't know if Bruce Carson even went to prison? Carson claims, he has cancer.
There are people I know, who are trying to e-mail Harper and his henchmen. Their e-mails are being kicked back to them. Either they shut their computers off or, their mail boxes are so full of angry peoples e-mails, they can't hold anymore?
I don't know whether Harper and his members read web sites or not? There are sites where some people say, there are 1,500 conbot trolls, that are paid to cause chaos among the posters who are, anti-Harper? Some sites will not permit adverse comments nor links, regarding Harper and his Cons.
No one is emphasizing the fact that the Fair election Act has a clause ##? that would allow candidates to expense stuff like our Eve did. Nail jobs, hair streaking, tooth paste ie anything from Shoppers that enhance the visage (ie not the gravitas) of the candidate.
ReplyDeleteEve would never stop here, it's not five star. She's just a princess and I love to see them fall the most.
ReplyDeleteislandcynic
I fear the botox from her lips has spread to her mind/brain. That is what is fueling her delusions. Poor woman
ReplyDeleteTo the author:
ReplyDeleteHEAR HEAR!
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ReplyDelete