The Con Zombie Vic Toews Resigns

OMG. It seems too good to be true.

And it's still a full two weeks before the next full
moon.

But it looks as if the Con zombie Vic Toews has stumbled out of his crypt for the very last time. 

Public Safety Minister Vic Toews has announced that he is retiring from politics and will resign as a cabinet minister and as member of Parliament for Provencher effective Tuesday, ahead of what is expected to be a major cabinet shuffle this summer.

"It takes a great deal of deliberation on the part of those who decide to enter politics," said Toews in a statement on Monday. "It takes an even greater amount of consideration and effort to step out of office when one still enjoys the support of those who elected them. However, for me, the time has come to step aside and begin the next chapter of my life."

And goodness knows he won't be missed. For never was there a more brutish reactionary, a more disgusting anti-gay bigot, or a more ghastly hypocrite.

For who could ever forget the perverted pleasure he seemed to get from jailing Canadians? Or his neverending efforts to try to turn us into a police state.

Or the creepy way he went after Adam Carroll and Justin Trudeau...






Or the way he tried to read our e-mails and destroy internet freedom...



Even though he himself was an internet beast. 

This is a politician who has become renowned among a small audience of Manitoba political junkies for sending out long, rambling, emails to his "supporters," in which he angrily attacks opposition MPs, journalists and anyone else with the temerity to disagree with him.

But that was before Toews discovered Twitter, a more immediate, pervasive and, we have come to learn, less thoughtful way of venting your most volatile thoughts the moment they burst into your skull. Toews slowly began to move from the innocuous to the abusive in his emails. He taunted the opposition, howled when they disagreed with him. When the opposition voted against a Tory crime bill, he accused them of helping child kidnappers.

And his foulness knew no limit.

For he called himself a Christian, but Jesus Christ would have slugged him.

But now at last he's gone, and Canada is a slightly cleaner and safer place to live.

Except if you live in Manitoba.

For believe it or not that crummy old Con is still hoping to be made a judge...



Which means I won't be travelling through that province anytime soon eh?

And all I can say now that he's gone is this:

Until the day the last Con zombie is buried in the crypt garbage can of history.

When the full moon rises, keep your doors locked at night.

Because old Vicky may have stumbled off into well deserved obscurity. For only the idiot voters of Provencher, or the other Con zombies will ever miss him.

But until we clean the Cons off the streets.

And make Canada truly safe again.

We're still living in Harperland...



And of course good riddance to bad rubbish eh? 

May he rot in hell, or Provencher, or Paraguay, FOREVER.

For he was a brutish Con thug.

And he will not be missed...



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