Pope Benny and the Holy Hypocrites

Well as you know Pope Benny is heading off into the sunset, or into a former convent on the grounds of the Vatican.

Leaving us to wonder whether his pooped mobile is a mere conduit to well deserved obscurity. Or his getaway car. 

The Vatican has attacked reports in the Italian media linking Pope Benedict XVI's resignation to the alleged discovery of a network of gay prelates as attempts to influence the cardinals in their choice of a new pontiff.

And whether the Pope who made a vicious anti-gay crusade the centrepiece of his dilapidated papacy, is being impaled on his own petard, so to speak.

Because in Pope Benny's church you never know eh?

Take the case of Cardinal Keith O'Brien, the most senior Catholic clergyman in Britain, and the scourge of that country's gay people...



For years he has attacked them in a brutish manner, likening gay love to paedophilia and slavery. 

Only to have his past come back to haunt him today.

Three priests and a former priest in Scotland have reported the most senior Catholic clergyman in Britain, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, to the Vatican over allegations of inappropriate behaviour stretching back 30 years.

O'Brien, who is due to retire next month, has been an outspoken opponent of gay rights, condemning homosexuality as immoral, opposing gay adoption, and most recently arguing that same-sex marriages would be "harmful to the physical, mental and spiritual well-being of those involved". Last year he was named "bigot of the year" by the gay rights charity Stonewall.

Gawd. How do they do it? Was Andrew Sullivan right when he wrote this about Pope Benny's conflicted orientation?



At times, it seems to me, his gayness is almost wince-inducing. The prissy fastidiousness, the effeminate voice, the fixation on liturgy and ritual, and the over-the-top clothing accessories are one thing. But what resonates with me the most is a theology that seems crafted from solitary introspection into a perfect, abstract unity of belief. It is so perfect it reflects a life of withdrawal from the world of human relationship, rather than an interaction with it. Of course, this kind of work is not inherently homosexual; but I have known so many repressed gay men who can only live without severe pain in the world if they create a perfect abstraction of what it is, and what their role is in it.

Or do these stunted, sexually repressed, self loathing holy hypocrites enjoy trying to flagellate the humanity out of others as they would flagellate it out of themselves?

Oh well. On a more romantic note I'm happy to announce that Benny's private secretary Georg Ganswein, also known as Gorgeous Georg, the Adonis of the Black Forest, Gay-org, or just the Pope's boyfriend or live-in partner.



“I know who the Holy Father is and so I know how to behave appropriately. There are always some situations, however, when the heart beats a little stronger than usual.”

Is moving in with Benny.

On Thursday, the Vatican confirmed that Benedict will have a direct link to the new pope. His trusted private secretary, Monsignor Georg Ganswein, will live with the retired pope while continuing his job as prefect of the papal household for the new pope.

Because some couples are more precious than others eh?

And how do I feel about all those ghastly repressed old men, who have tortured so many, while torturing themselves?

Oh that's easy eh? Laughing my ass off. Like Michelangelo, who would paint Adam's dick bigger in the Sistine Chapel if he could, to torture them further.

Or shaking my booty like these guys...



You know, I bet Benny is hoping that heaven looks like that.

But even if it does exist.

He ain't going there....

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