Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Stephen Harper's Calamitous Cabinet Shuffle

Oh dear. Poor Stephen Harper. The euphoria over his cabinet shuffle seems to have faded rather rapidly.

It was only yesterday, but now it seems like a thousand years old. And people aren't cheering, they're SCREAMING.

Yesterday he was tweeting like crazy for hours and plugging his new slogan.

But then came news of the Enemy List. People started thinking about those "experienced hands" around their necks.

And now he's considerably less excited.

And considerably shorter...

And who can blame him eh? It's turning into a real horror show.

Peter Kent, of all people, is accusing him of acting like Richard Nixon.

And raising all our hopes...

The leader-in-exile of the Con backbench revolt says the shuffle is more sizzle than steak. 

So along with the firmly planted Government House Leader, nothing really changes as a result of yesterday’s shuffle. Politics continues to trump policy and optics remain more important than effectiveness as the Government feels electorally insecure alongside a much younger NDP Caucus and a young, social media savvy leader of the Liberals.

Yesterday’s cabinet facelift was cosmetic at best and similar to the Government’s own ironic characterization of the man leading in the polls: all sizzle and no steak.

Which is just about the worst thing you can say to a fake Albertan.

And of course, the real critics have been brutal.

Panning the choice of Pierre Poislievre as the new Minister of Election Erection Reform...

Mr. Poilievre is a fascinating case. And he now has nominal responsibility for our longest-standing parliamentary dilemma. It is strangely fitting that it should come to this. (And that the young man who once mocked the “in-and-out” charges of violating election spending limits will now presumably be the minister who introduces the government’s electoral reform legislation adds a helpful bit of irony to the storyline.

And pointing out that the one shuffle this mummy government needed to come back from the dead, never happened:

Of course, the minister whose purview has lately caused the government the most grief was not moved from his spot. The minister whose chief of staff gave $90,000 to a sitting senator, the minister who nominated Mike Duffy and Pamela Wallin to the Senate, the minister who may or may not know whatever the members of his staff may or may not know about the deal between Nigel Wright and Mr. Duffy, the minister whose staff is blamed for the unhappiness of backbenchers, the minister whose office is now said to be not cooperating with the RCMP—that minister was not shuffled to the backbench or given a new title. He is still Prime Minister.

But then that would be too much to expect eh?

And I'm satisfied anyway.

How satisfied?

Just wind me up, and I'll show you...

See? I landed on my feet.

Which is more than I can say for the Con regime.

The shuffle was supposed to be the launch of their NEW/NOUVEAU look.

They blew it in less than a day.

And for us at least, the future couldn't look BETTER PRETTIER....

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  1. Anonymous10:11 PM

    This is brilliant work, Simon.

    1. hi anonymous...Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to give most of the credit to the robot. Because I can't claim much myself. I got so fried by the heat on my way home, I hit the PUBLISH button instead of the SAVE one before I had finished writing the post, or written a headline, or added all the graphics, so I had to scramble to put it together. So it's a little short on analysis but I think it makes the point. The Cons staged a makeover extravaganza, and thanks to the Enemy List fiasco it fell flat on its face in a matter of HOURS. What more can we ask for eh? All hail the God of Summer !!! ;)

  2. Let's try some different imagery on Poilievre. In the discussion following a Huffington Post article on Poilievre's ministerial appointment, one of the more entertaining contributions compared Poilievre to Grima Wormtongue of Tolkien fame, the archetypal sycophant, flatterer, liar, and manipulator whose malicious words were like those of a serpent.

    Gandalf referred to Wormtongue thus :

    "The wise speak only of what they know, Gríma son of Gálmód. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a serving-man till the lightning falls.
    See, Théoden, here is a snake! To slay it would be just. But it was not always as it now is. Once it was a man, and it did you service in its fashion."

    But while wicked and sycophantic, Poilievre is not that cunning, nor "was it once a man", so perhaps a dim-witted Wormtongue, a minor league juvenile Taunter. Then again put a pair of glasses on Gollum and the likeness to the newly minted Minister of Democratic Reform is uncanny...

    1. hi Rene...I like the name Wormtongue, but I see Poilievre as an almost stereotypical Young Republican. The kind of Con fanatic who could have worked for Richard Nixon, and even looks like he came out of that era. He's a Cold War warrior, a McCarthyist, more American than Canadian. And the dumb oafs who vote for him should be ashamed of themselves....

  3. Anonymous2:29 PM

    Harper chooses those who are weak, that he can manipulate and threaten into obedience. That's why Poilievre was chosen. He also has a list of degenerates as long as his arm. Harper's degenerates, do his dirty work for him. The Conservatives that do have any strength of character leave. They detest being dictated to and controlled by a freak, such as Harper. Those people have ethics and morals, Harper and his followers have none. How anyone with self respect can support a monster such as Harper, beats the hell out of me. They are every bit as vile and disgusting as Harper is. We are not going to forget the names, of Harper's henchmen either.

    Tyrant Harper and his henchmen are, out and out blatant liars and traitors. Harper is giving Canada, resources and resource jobs to, Communist China. Harper's favorite charities big corporations demand, dirt cheap Chinese labor.

    However. Harper was Policy Chief for his, Northern Foundation of 1989. He is linked with some very dubious characters. This fits right in with, Harper's dictatorship.