Golly. I have to admit that when I first saw the story I had to stick a fork into myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
Because this is definitely one of my favourite dreams eh?
Stephen Harper bitterly bidding farewell to his ungrateful people. While they dance in the streets.
But then I was shocked. Could Stephen Harper REALLY be quitting before we defeat him?
Could this REALLY happen?
Every good first minister has his or her eye on the clock. They have to. They need to consider whether they have another gruelling election campaign in them, and whether they can continue to govern for another three or four years thereafter.
On April 30, Harper will turn 54 years old --- in some respects, an ideal age to leave on top having won three consecutive elections and refashioned the country in a significant way. He's young and vigorous enough to embark on a new career. If this scenario has occurred to me, you can bet it's occurred to others in Ottawa, who will be looking for every little clue to see whether the PM is tipping his hand.
But after about thirty seconds of profound reflection, and after consulting my pet donkey Jake, I decided it's probably not going to happen. For although on one level it does make perfect sense.
His polls are sagging. Canadians are sick and tired of him. Almost nobody trusts ANYTHING he says, or believes he's a real economist. The economy is heading south. He's up to his knees in stinky scandals. And if he makes it all the way to the next election he risks being known as the man who brought the Liberal Party back from the dead, and another Trudeau to power. Which would just about kill him eh?
So why wouldn't he leave now?
Before another ticking Con scandal explodes, and things get even worse...
Except that those who suggest he would quit before he is defeated, don't understand the true nature of the man. A man who would cling to power like a mussel clings to a rock. And every little clue points in the direction that he's planning to stay.
His twitter feed is exploding. Every day brings another shiny photo-op designed to try to make him look more human. Or blow his own trumpet.
And as I pointed out in January, his whole image is being re-imagined.
So does all that look like a man preparing to leave, or a desperate Con preparing for an election? Whenever that might come.
And besides if he left suddenly who would replace him? There isn't an ounce of talent in his mediocre, burned out, hack caucus. The only two Con Ministers who are going after his job like
Tony Clement and Jason Kenney were the only two Stephen Harper cabinet ministers to spend both days at the family gathering, meeting, greeting, backslapping and speaking to some of the movement’s most powerful figures. If Harper decided to pack it in tomorrow, Clement and Kenney, two ministers with Reform-Canadian Alliance roots, would immediately be placed on any leadership short list.
Clement is a joke, who reached his porky pinnacle as the King of Muskoka.
And although Jason Kenney might one day, with the help of the religious fanatics in the Con caucus, be anointed as Harper Two.
He will NEVER be Prime Minister.
And then of course, there is another reason why Stephen Harper probably isn't going anywhere in a hurry.
He set out to kill government, murder medicare, and change Canada into a Big Business jungle. But the government is still standing, on one leg. The CBC still has one ear and a nose. The rich still have to pay taxes, because the poor haven't been sufficiently pruned.
And he's determined to finish the job...
Because from the day he tried to destroy the student council in his high school, and then the one at his university, destruction is what gives him pleasure. And he can't get enough of it.
And then of course there's what Warren Kinsella had to say about Steve Paikin's article.
"It's ridiculous. Why quit when your opposition is split, and you're going to win? There's no pressure on him to go, internally or externally. Paikin should stick to reading the news."
Which may be a little too gloomy, or much much gloomier than the psychic's prediction.
"I see PM Harper will step down due to a family situation," she told Yahoo! Canada News. "The timing of the decision may still be interpreted by some as politically strategic. "Not certain of precise timing as there may be a postponement of plan."
But is unfortunately more within the realm of possibility.
As for me, not only do I believe Harper will stick around. I believe he will go for another election sooner rather than later, and long before 2015. Before the economy really tanks. Before Justin Trudeau has a chance to make his mark as Liberal leader.
I think he will use an emotional issue like the death penalty, to divide Canadians again, and turn the election into a referendum on whether we should hang criminals like this one.
Because Harper's so desperate he's capable of ANYTHING...
And the good news? It probably won't work. Stroking kittens while killing people is such a bad mix. People might think he's not just crazy, but DANGEROUS.
And if he doesn't pull a Magnotta, or that early election doesn't happen, the longer Harper hangs around the more Canadians will get sick of him. And the more damage he will do his own party. If he leaves they're dead, if he stays they're doomed. Canadians will be so sick of him they'll throw the Cons out for a GENERATION.
Yup. As I like to think in that lovely dream eh?
Organize, unite, attack the Cons like they have never been attacked before.
Then give their ghastly leader enough time and enough rope.
And he will hang his own...
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