Monday, July 23, 2012

Stephen Harper's Desperate Makeover


Uh oh. This could be ugly. I mean pretty. It looks as if Stephen Harper is badly in need of a major makeover.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s public approval ratings have reached an all-time low in 2012, and Nanos Research president Nik Nanos says the Conservatives may want to begin rehabilitating their leader’s brand this fall. 

Because the omens are ominous.

EKOS President Frank Graves told The Hill Times that not since 1989 has a government seen such a significant drop in support within one year of securing a majority mandate at the polls. That year marked the beginning of the end for Brian Mulroney’s Progressive Conservative government.

He's swimming with the Great Baloney eh? Heading for the Blue Hole...or the Big Hole.... where all Cons go when they're done. Can the end be far off? 

But wait, what's this???? John Ibbitson seems to think that even without a successful makeover, Great Ugly Leader could go on and on like the Energizer Bunny !!!!

Mr. Harper’s goal is to cement a new, stable coalition of Westerners and suburban Ontario voters around fundamental conservative principles: sound finances, free trade, safe streets, and an alliance-based foreign policy. He is using that coalition to make conservative values Canadian values. He will stay in power as long as it takes to achieve that goal.

But don't panic eh? Ibby is just polishing Great Ugly's behind like Aladdin's lamp, and wishing for a Senate seat. Conservative values will NEVER be Canadian values.

And we can work with that bunny...


















In fact, may I suggest something even more fabulous? Something a little more risque risky. Something a little a lot Chinese?

For the man who has everything but wants MORE. Who is selling this country to foreign interests. Turning Albertans into low wage slaves. And killing good jobs in Ontario with the Dutch Disease to please Canada's new masters.

You know, the cowboy from Toronto Calgary Beijing...














Oh well. So much for the Great Western/Ontario alliance. So much for Stephen Harper's phony image as a strong leader. Viva El Wimpo !!! So much for his thousand year Con dynasty. 

Of course, even when Harpo is cowering in his bunker as the Con regime collapses around him, staring at his shattered mirror and shouting " I AM prettier than Snow White !!!!!!!!!!"

"Or Jason Kenney....in DRAG !!!!!!!"

"Or F***ing Mother Theresa !!!!!"


















There will still be some Canadians who think he was a great Prime Minister, not a fraud, a right-wing bully and tool of Big Oil, who set out to destroy Canada and its values by whatever means necessary. 

But they will be idiots, or wild beasts.

And nature will take care of them...



And of course Great Ugly Leader can slap on all the mascara he wants, but he'll never fool us.

We know a predator when we see one. And by the time we finish working on his fabulous makeover.

He'll be glad when he's DEFEATED...

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21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Simon,

So is Stephen a log or a Croc?

He is a croc of ****

I think he is a freak of nature and when Canada is done with him he will go down in history as the worst and least popular prime minister, Stephen never won any popularity contests, and certainly losing now finally some popularity in the MSM that are attacking him as well deserved...

I love it how you make me laugh at events in our lives that are important...

Keep up the good work:)

Anonymous said...

You can put lipstick on an asshole, but it's still an asshole.

mizdarlin said...

Great images, Simon, you have a future career staring you in the face..especially enoyed the Mother Theresa makeover...lol..
But pretty please Simon, you are making the same mistake that most Easterners make: stop lumping BC in with Alberta, and referring to the "West"...we are the True West, and we do not now or ever will support the CRAP Clown Circus...and I do mean as West as you can get, too (Vancouver Island)..a white cowboy hat and a cavalier attitude towards the environment does not make you the "West" but only the "Rest"...don't imagine any part of Canada would willing claim Alberta...let's be honest here, and call it what it is, the 'Wasteland'...I feel bad for all the good citizens of Alberta who know that no matter what they do, they are stuck with the vote sucking Cons in perpetuity...

Beijing York said...

Harper is definitely a reptile and there are a few others in his caucus but the majority on the Harper MPs are as useful and animated as planks of wood.

thwap said...

John Ibbitson is diligently trying to ensure his total lack of credibility.

"Mr. Harper’s goal is to cement a new, stable coalition of Westerners and suburban Ontario voters"

.. okay. let's see ...

"around fundamental conservative principles:"

This should be good for a laff ...

"sound finances,"

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Remember when fuck-head Flaherty predicted small surpluses and then announced a $50 billion deficit six months later? OOOOPS!

"free trade,"

Hey Ibbitson! Whatever happened to Ontario's manufacturing sector? Get back to me on that one shit-head.

"safe streets,"

Yeah. Except for the fact that gun violence has exploded under harper, you'd have a point.

"and an alliance-based foreign policy."

What do mean by that Ibbitson? The UN? The Kyoto Accord? Or do you mean running around the ankles of the US military like a barking dog promising the blood of the CF for whatever imperialist abominations they decide to get into next? (Oh yeah, and fanatical lip-service to an increasingly isolated Israel?)

"He is using that coalition to make conservative values Canadian values. He will stay in power as long as it takes to achieve that goal."

They're not "values." They're moral deformities. And he only stayed in power via fraud. Or is that what you mean by "he will stay in power as long as it takes"?

Anonymous said...

Canadians do not have to obey Harper. He is a traitor committing High Treason. He just permitted Communist China's ownership and control, of the dirty Alberta tar sands.

So, please don't lump BC in with Alberta. We despise Alberta's treachery, as much as we despise Harper's treachery. Premier Redford is bringing American war Veterans to, either work the pipeline or perhaps guard it. No-one seems to know. Redford too is a traitor committing treason, selling the dirty tar oil to, Communist China The U.S. also said, they have the exclusive rights to work in Alberta, at Premier Redford's request. Alberta is an enemy of the BC people. We will never welcome the Alberta citizens in BC, ever again.

We know Communist China is bringing swarms over to build the Enbridge pipeline, by Harper's endorsement. Harper will probably bring his Communist Chinese army, to guard the Enbridge pipeline as well.

The people of BC will treat Alberta, the same way they are treating the people of BC. They are just not, welcome in BC anymore.

Kirbycairo said...

Well done Simon. I think your effort to reduce Harper to the level of pure farce is excellent. He is a buffoon much like Mussolini and you are showing that.

(As for Anonymous' comment about "Communist China," I find it amazing that people continue to think of China as "Communist." One doesn't have be a communist to understand that that country shares nothing in common with previous communist states except their their most negative aspects. China currently has no old age pension system, no universal healthcare system to speak of, no guaranteed income, and certainly no government sponsored employment system. Being a one-party, militarist state with none of these things and one of the widest discrepancies between rich and poor in the world, it is a fascist state, not a communist one.)

Anonymous said...

Ouch. I was hoping to retire in BC in a few more years. I'm not sure there is such a big alliance between Ontario conservatives and Alberta conservatives, at least among average, ordinary people. My own parents and much of my family tend to be conservative and yet I always hear them say Alberta is too right-wing American for them.

Simon said...

hi Mogs...I hate to be so crude, but if Harpo isn't a croc of **** he's the kind of log that floats in a toilet. But you're right he is the worst Prime Minister EVER. And hopefully by the time he's evicted he'll be the most despised leader in Canadian history...

Simon said...

hi anonymous...yes I think that sums up the situation very concisely. I did think I managed to put lipstick on Great Ugly Leader once. But when I checked my files it was only Jason Kenney dressed up as a hooker...;)

Simon said...

hi Wendi...I'm sorry, I never meant to suggest that BC was anything like Alberta. My map of Canada these days anyway, has the prairie provinces, the wastelands of Chinalberta, and beautiful British Columbia. ;)
And I also am starting to feel sorry for the good people in Alberta, because as those foreign interests throw their weight around, their wages and working conditions are sure to plummet.
An ill conceived economic strategy is going to hurt all of us...

Simon said...

hi Beijing...you're absolutely right. One day when Stephen Harper is finally recognized as the destructive force that ripped this country apart, those in this own party who could have raised their voices but didn't, will bear a heavy burden. And we will REMEMBER....

Simon said...

hi thwap...thanks for this excellent analysis of that absurd article. When you lay it out as you have done, it's almost unbelievable how anyone, let alone a senior journalist, could write that kind of nonsense. When I last checked the polls Canada was still basically a progressive country, and by staring at the Con regime through rose coloured glasses, Ibbitson is becoming increasingly ridiculous...

Simon said...

hi anonymous...as I said earlier I did not intend to lump BC in with Alberta. And if I made it sound like that I'm sorry. As Way Way Up points out I think Alberta's curse is that it's history has made it more American than the rest of Canada. You can't blame people in Alberta for that, but a lot of them need to understand that, and become a little less arrogant and aggressive towards the rest of Canada. For whatever our differences we still are one country, and with the right government we can still be a great one...

Simon said...

hi Kirby...thank you. I appreciate your posts too. They are very well written and heartfelt. My friends say I should try to write like that. But I need to make fun of the Cons even as I criticize them. For if I couldn't laugh during this time of despair, I don't know how I would find the strength to continue.
Each of us in our own way, attacking the common enemy, and dreaming of a better day...

Anonymous said...

Thanks Simon you are right he is the log that floats in the toilet...

And I believe he is a religious nut-wing of the most dangerous kind and more over homophobic and does not believe in science or the rights of ordinary people that have been won over centuries...

Go figure:)

Anonymous said...

Beijing York:)

I take offense to you calling them as useful and animated as planks of wood...

Believe me I have been a carpenter all my life and trees honey are where planks of wood come from and they are a whole lot more intelligent than the Harper gang.

Anonymous said...

Having being raised in ranch country in Alberta...

And retired in BC...

Things have sure changed and when I see an Alberta license plate now here I cringe for all they stand for.

They have USED BC as a play ground forever but they leave their beer cans and garbage everywhere they go...

I'm sick of it and their juvenile mentality:(

Anonymous said...

Simon that's what I like about you making fun out of the worst **** in history...

I always had a saying if you can't laugh at yourself and your own idiosyncrasies, you are in trouble...

As I have said before keep up the good work:)

Kirbycairo said...

Hi Simon - Don't listen to anyone who tells you to write any other way than you do. Your ridicule and humor are certainly more powerful than anything I could write. Good satire is always more effective than overly serious work. (Just think of Swift's essay A Modest Proposal!) I just write my blog as a way of venting and it does little - but yours really show Harper and his cronies for what they are - tyrannical buffoons who deserve to be laughed at as well as despised. Keep it up.

Simon said...

hi kirby...thanks for those encouraging words. I think laughter can empower one, and help bring those self-styled Master of the Universe down to earth. Also the tradition of laughing at figures of authority is quite prevalent in Quebec. It dates back to the days when the English were running the province, and the hero was the little guy who would make fun of those arrogant twits, behind their backs. And mock their pretensions.
I also believe that in a world where we are bombarded with so much information, caricature can get a simple message across very effectively. At least I hope that's true, or I'm in big trouble... ;)