Sunday, November 28, 2010

Why Fox News North is Going to Bomb



















Well I see that Fox News North Kory TV Sun TV News has finally got permission to beg the cable companies to put them on the air. According to this Sun News report bloated PR  release.

As soon as they can...um... get their shit together.

Officials had originally wanted to begin broadcasting on January 1, but equipment logistics and building delays have pushed back the clock to March.

And I also see that some progressive bloggers are going hip hip whatever.

But then so am I, if only for ONE simple reason. This is going to be the biggest BOMB or lead balloon Canadian television has ever seen.

I'm not going to dwell on the obvious. They don't have the money,or the infrastructure, or the talent, to compete for even a small part of that  tiny news market. Or even to be taken seriously. 

I'd rather concentrate on the even bigger problem...the unfortunate cultural misunderstanding. Because to  understand what kind of a channel they are probably going to get,  Sun TV News' supporters shouldn't bother looking south, they should just look at Quebec. 

Because what they're going to get is a Made in Quebec production. With its petty vendettas...

As a British Columbian, Heritage Minister James Moore may not understand – as do those of the Québécois nation – that Pierre Karl Péladeau has a propensity to use his Quebecor media properties to advance his economic interests.

However, Mr. Péladeau, and the journalists he employs see themselves as David battling Goliath, and the war now includes Anglo journalists who’ve been drafted in support of Quebecor’s war against Radio-Canada.

And its unique brand of media politics.

Here’s something else that he may not understand: in that fight in French, though not in English, Mr. Péladeau’s papers don’t shy away from painting the Desmarais-owned papers, and the journalists they employ, as federalist dupes and virtual traitors to the Québécois nation.

Golly. Vive le Quebec Libre !!! Not a Faux News North, but an English version of  Le Canal Nouvelles.

To make matters worse, Quebecor is notoriously cheap. They don't have enough resources to staff a proper news channel. They have so few staff they are planning to get their foreign news from CNN. 

So they'll probably have to lean heavily on their TVA operation in Quebec, which means their redneck viewers out West will be seeing a lot of crime stories out of Montreal, delivered by reporters with strong French accents.

Tabarnac. How you say "J'taime Calgary" or "dey was mugged" in English?   

And I can hardly wait for the moment when The Ezra Levant Spit and Shit Show is interrupted by a dramatic report about a snowmobile accident in Chibougamou. And the absurd levantine is forced to do a weather report to explain how it happened...














Because every penny counts. Allah knows Lezra needs the money. And when the advertisers see what they're getting,  they are going to have to keep that pay pal sign up all the time.

Oh yeah. One more thing. When someone from Quebecor says this:

Lavoie did agree that the station will be “populist, blue-collar, irreverent and if one wants to go that way, right wing.”

The blue collar part? It just means lots of crime stories, lotto numbers, and chicks in bikinis...

















Oh well. You know that old saying? Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get what you don't want.

The poor Cons are going to be soooooo disappointed. The silly suckers. That'll teach them not to understand French.

They  thought they were getting Fox News North, and they're getting Quebec News West. 

Ooh la la. Vive la difference !!!!!  I mean Vive le Quebec libre !!!!! 

Is Con another word for IDIOT?

Muahahahaha.....

14 comments:

  1. Is con another word for idiot? Well, why not? At long last, why the fuck not?

    You're right. It's going to bomb and bomb huge. A low-budget production featuring sub-normal intellects yammering their racist conspiracy theories and demonstrating to the mushy middle that they're the dangerous psychopathic losers we've been criticizing for years now.

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  2. Anonymous1:16 PM

    Simon,

    You are the greatest! ROFLMAO...

    ..."And I can hardly wait for the moment when The Ezra Levant Spit and Shit Show is interrupted by a dramatic report about a snowmobile accident in Chibougamou.

    All fun and games until somebody gets decapitated by a barb wire fence.

    p2p

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  3. Simon,

    The prospect of Christie Blatchford all tarted up like a Fox news chick to read the news or lead a discussion makes my toenails curl and my flesh crawl.

    What about Adler huffing and puffing so self-importantly? Brian Lilley and his rumpled self reporting from the Hill? Coren??

    It might be therapeutic if you need an emetic or want to gauge someone's success at anger management

    BUT . . .remember that the National Post wasn't supposed to last more than a year. Now it's 12 years old.

    De gustibus non disputandum est.

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  4. Yeppers, Con is another word for idiot. Well said.

    I worry the channel will be successful in small towns etc. Will never be the player that Faux News is, at least I hope not. Delayed start is a good sign!

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  5. LOL! I'm looking forward to checking out this train wreck. Levant's rants bracketed by Quebec Loto balls and crime reports from Trois Rivieres.

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  6. hi thwap...well personally I've ALWAYS thought that Con is another word for idiot. But it bears repeating ;)
    But yes, I think the Peladeau gang thinks they can duplicate their success in Quebec in the rest of Canada, but I think they're in for a rude surprise...

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  7. hi anonymous...I'm glad you found it funny. I on the other hand don't know what's more scary, any kind of accident, or Lezra in full rant mode.
    BTW I forgot to mention that TVA is also big on car crashes and fires, so expect to see a lot of those as their pathetic news channel goes up in smoke...

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  8. hi Torontonian...all I can say is that if Christie Blatchford and Charles Adler and Ezra Levant are going to be their stars, let's hope it's not in HD because no amount of makeup could make them look pretty...:)AAAAAAAAAAAAH !!!!!
    As for the comparison to the National Post, I don't think that's quite fair. The NP has at least some real journalists, while as far as I can see Faux News North has only one, David Akin. And sooner or later his conscience is going to catch up to him so I give him six months...if the job is still there...

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  9. hi Brahm...I'm sure Faux News North will have a very small loyal following. Every village has its village idiot. But I'm suspect they've bitten off more than they can chew, and the end result will be amateurish.Or a strange combination of the comedy channel and the shopping one.On the other hand if they get Levant to do the weather in a thong, it could be a huge hit for all the wrong reasons... ;)

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  10. hi Beijing...yes it is going to be a strange beast. Like a chicken with a duck's head that walks backwards and howls like a monkey. Golly. I must remember never to watch it before I go to bed, or I'll wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Or laughing... ;)

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  11. It will be a lot of fun. Fodder for future mocking blog posts, to be sure. And how long before the slander start flyig? It's one thing to slander or defame someone in a typed column or post, but it's another when a FNN talking head (most likely Levant) lets slip something in a fit of anger and hate that will be suit worthy. I bet it happens in the first (and only?) year.

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  12. GMO news featuring notices from the PMO.

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  13. Keith1:52 PM

    Odd, all of the posted comments support your view. They all use insults instead of ideas as criticism. That is why the left is dying all over the western world. RIP

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  14. Anonymous6:39 PM

    Just a lot of blather. What are you all so afraid of? Let there be free speech, ideas, etc. and the people will decide. You don't need to be so hateful, oh enlightened ones :)

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