Tuesday, July 10, 2007
How My Doggie Blew Up My Holiday Plans
( click to enlarge)
So it's glorious summer and I'm as desperate to get out of Toronto as the scarecrow at the end of the Island Airport runway is to go watch a baseball game.
But then everything went wrong...and just like the dummy I ended up going nowhere.
First I remembered that I promised a friend I'd help him rig his boat. So there went my morning....clambering up and down a metal mast...as dark storm clouds gathered... worrying whether I was going to be hit by lightning.
Which of course would be awful because the Big Blue Bigot would claim that it was God's punishment....and that she tipped him off by banning me from her Formaldehyde Kingdom. And that would be worse than death...or even her stinky blog.
Although I have to wonder whether she's been casting some bad juju my way....because of what happened next.
First I remembered that I had to settle an outstanding gas bill...before flying off anywhere..
Which set me back almost $500 bucks. Holy Shite or Sheik!!!! Where the fuck does that stuff come from anyway? Who's robbing us blind? Iraq......or Alberta?
And then came the final blow....
I remembered that I had made an appointment to take my black beauty to the Pet Hospital and Friendly Extortion Agency for his annual checkup.
Which after a battery of tests....starting with a $40 buck stool sample and ending with some expensive medication for a small cut on his lip cost me almost $400 bucks. Now that the Drug Barons are involved anything is possible...
But it did blow up my entertainment budget real good. Kaboom! And it does mean we ain't going ANYWHERE until payday. And maybe not until Sébastien gets back.
But that's OK. Some things are worth a LOT more than others. The friendly extortionists told me he's as fit as a puppy even though he's almost twelve. And the sight of my beautiful gentle dog offering up his paw trustingly to be jabbed...or standing there wagging his tail...with a thermometer up his ass...was as they say PRICELESS.
And on the way home I came across another neat little animal story....remember this scene a few weeks ago?
Well it seems like all that hard work paid off....handsomely.
Which kind of made up for everything else...
Way to go Mama! But damn those little swans!! How DARE they have more fun than I'm having. I bet they're really enjoying THEIR glorious summer. I bet it's REALLY exciting.
While I just sit here blogging...with my most valuable possession curled up at my feet, waiting for my lover to return, and nothing to do but bike and swim and sail, and plan a quick but very wild trip to Montreal to see some of my old friends...AFTER payday..... but BEFORE Sébastien comes back. Which is when my summer REALLY begins.
Damn you Big Blue Bigot!! You and your hideous pickle jars and your formaldehyde spells. What have I done to deserve this? Isn't gay life hard?
And the moral of this non-post? Patience pays off. Some things ARE more important than others. Love your pet like I do.
But don't forget to get pet insurance...