Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Ted Haggard Isn't Gay and how Jesus Raped Me
















Oh Mary it's a miracle!!! After sucking up all that meth and sucking off that male prostitute for three years. Ted Haggard now says he's completely heterosexual. And after only three weeks!!!!

"He is completely heterosexual..... That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Translation: Now he'll only do female prostitutes constantly. But only if they are called Tina. And have shaved heads, tiny breasts, big muscles, hairy backs, lots of tattoos....and above all humongous strap ons.

I wish I could be happy for this pathetic closet queen. But two things bother me. One....how on earth did Teddy Homoslut become Teddy Heterosexual in such a short time? Did they give him electric shock treatment like they did to so many other gay men?














In the 1950s and 1960s, behavioural therapy was used to try to "cure" gay men. Men convicted of homosexual acts were routinely given electric shock treatment, hallucinogenic drugs and subjected to brainwashing techniques.

Although it didn't work then...so why would it work now?

And two when Pastor Penis claims he's "cured" he's really calling homosexuality a disease. And that reminds me what those bastards did to my brothers because they called them sick. When they were just gay. And the nazi doctors who tortured them were the real sickos. I'll never forget that or forgive them. That's why I want revenge. That's why I believe that the real disease is religion. And if we don't destroy it.........it will destroy the world.

All religion is superstition, ju ju, and nonsense. Why would I ever believe anything some hairy Semite in the desert told his slaves and his goats? After a very hot day. When he was too bugged out to walk his camel. Or order his little daughter to sit on his dick.Some primitive barbarian patriarch who didn't even know the world was round. And didn't even have a cellphone. To speak to his ju ju god.


But of course there is no God. There is no heaven. There is no hell. Anybody who believes that crap is just afraid to die. And I'm not afraid of anything.

You see if Pastor Teddy wants to be cured of homosexuality. I want to be cured of religion.

And that's not going to be easy.

Because you see....(sob) (sob) I was raped by Jesus.....just like this poor guy was...




Oh yeah...that's my man. Or my long lost twin brother.... I feel his pain..... Geez I sure hope they catch that Jesus guy before he fucks up any more lives.(sob) (sob)


But seriously it's good to see more and more people standing up and telling these ju ju fanatics, men in dresses, homophobes, Roman paedophiles, mad mullahs, wretched rabbis, rosary rubbers, fetus fetishists, and just plain FREAKS to fuckoff and shutup. I don't know how long it will take before humanity is finally rid of the curse of religion.

But at least I'm sure of a couple of things. One.... when they call my love a disease I can call them anything.

And two...something tells me I'm going to be cured long before Ted Haggard is...


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UPDATE: Male prostitute reacts to Haggard's stunning "cure"

"That's the quickest therapy I've ever heard of. Y'know, it's hard for me to imagine someone who is performing oral sex and saying that he's straight. That just doesn't jive."


Exactly.Not only are they freaks....they're liars as well...

7 comments:

  1. I was just about to ask if you had caught wind of this yet.

    I think prayer circle-jerks need to be organized in his honour. ;)

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  2. Hi Jay...yes I could hardly believe it was so quick.It's kida scary. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep....in case I think of Ted in my dreams...and wake up straight!!!
    No offence brother...but it just wouldn't be me. :)
    On the other hand you know it really is tragic for a man to waste his life like that. Not fair to his wife either. He had a chance to say look I'm gay but I also am a Christian and I'm going to help people like a real Christian should. But he didn't and now he's fucked...or soon will be...

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  3. that video is golden. my favourite part is the CAUTION sign...I nearly choked on my bagel.

    What was it...three weeks in Utah with 4 other closet cases? some cure. and you're right...I can't imagine what his wife is really thinking / going through..

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  4. I just heard on the radio an interview with a rep from Teddy's former Church...apparently

    (1) Ted's not actually cured, but he is "more right with god" and "more a right person in the world"
    (2) despite being attended to by FOUR church high & mighties (and no doubt not too tighty whiteys)), it was a "secular psychological" retreat
    and (3) homosexuality isn't a disease, it's just a sinful behaviour, and according to the Word Of Dog, no sin is worse than another not even original sin

    these guys are fucking nutters.

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  5. Why would I ever believe anything some hairy Semite in the desert told his slaves and his goats? After a very hot day. When he was too bugged out to walk his camel. Or order his little daughter to sit on his dick.Some primitive barbarian patriarch who didn't even know the world was round. And didn't even have a cellphone. To speak to his ju ju god.
    Sometimes I really like you, Simon.

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  6. Just sometimes????!!!! Leonard I'm devastated.I know I'm sometimes childish,egocentric,extremely wordy,uber aggressive, and almost always irritating.But I am a poor gay boy. And I really have had a hard life :)
    But yeah...religion...I use to try to ignore it. But then it started invading my life...so know I decided fuck it...I can't stand this superstitious nonsense anymore. Besides I really do believe that we'll never be able to create a better society for ALL humans in this world...as long as so many only care about the next one...

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  7. Anonymous7:34 AM

    Being cured from the homosexuality is possible. I am the best example.

    ReplyDelete