Saturday, December 30, 2006

Gay Couples, Bullies, and Gay Kids

Yikes! The year is almost over. Time to make some resolutions. And usual..... apologize for my numerous trangressions. For being too angry and sometimes too stoopid. For putting in all those crude photoshops, little videos and sexy guys. And not enough stuff about the concerns of my lesbian sisters. For embarrassing my elders and sometimes even my great rainbow coloured freedom cause.

And of course.... for going on and on about Sebastien......

I'm not apologizing for shouting out my love for him. But for maybe making it sound like being a couple or married is the only way to be gay and happy. I know that many gay people are single by choice or because they haven't found that special someone. And that while some are very lonely others are very happy. Human beings find many way to love. And all of them are good.

So I hope my happiness, and my playing around with Sebastien didn't get on anyone's nerves. Or make them feel sad or put down. You see Sebastien doesn't usually read my blog when he's here. But when he's abroad he does. So I was just having some fun.

Besides I didn't really plan to talk about him so much. It just happened. Starting with the fact that it turned out to be the Year of the Gay Couple...

The homophobe hordes said it was about gay marriage. But I knew it was just a way to devalue what we felt for each other.

And who can forget Brokeback Mountain?And all the parodies that followed. And the way they mocked our love.

That made me really mad. And made the personal political. Then came the Dawson shootings which really shook me up. And brought back bad memories. And one way to cope with the situation was to write about Sebastien.

And how he saved my life.

But you already knew... and I'm not sorry about that either. Even though it was really personal. And made me look really bad.

What I do truly regret is that between attacking the Harper neocon nazis and fighting the religious wingnuts for gay marriage, I didn't do enough to help the cause of our precious gay kids. And do more to try to stop the bigots and the bullies from hurting them.

"It was horrible. Every day, I was teased and teased, everyone calling me gay,fag,queer, and I would always act like it didn't bug me...But I was crying inside me.."

So kids like Hamed don't have to die. And kids like Robby don't have to feel so alone.

"I fall to the hard, cold ground
The others look and laugh at my plight
Blood pours from my nose
I am not a pretty sight I try to stand again, but fall.

To the others I call
But they don't care..."

But I do. I care a lot. I KNOW how much they are suffering. I want the gay community to do a lot more to help these bullied kids. I want us to get organized, and put pressure on schoolboards to introduce anti-bullying and diversity programs.

I want us to hire lawyers and go after the bullies and their parents. I want us to turn the cops on them. And embarrass them publicly. And if everything else fucking fails I want us to organize into fighting groups. And beat the bullies to a bloody pulp.

I'll volunteer for that...

But I also want gay kids to understand that being gay isn't a curse..... it's awesome!! And that gay love isn't ugly or silly. It's beautiful and super strong. Just look at Sebastien and me. It's been almost ten years now. Salut mon amour!!

I want them to know that they have the right to fall in love with other kids. And hold hands and hug and kiss openly just like the straight kids do. That's why I put in the little videos of young lovers in love.

To make them laugh and give them hope.
And always try to encourage them not to give up.

And judging from a few e-mails and comments I've received at least I made some laugh...

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep on doing that. As well as putting in a few of our gay pictures too.

Just so they understand that our glorious struggle for freedom may be hard. Just as our victory will be super sweet.

But that getting there will also be a lot of fun!!!!!

Woohoo!!!! Long live our beautiful rainbow coloured freedom cause!!!!

This year was the year of the gay couple.

Next year the kids come first....


  1. i'm glad you're going to devote space to gay kids....i would also hope you quit apologizing and putting yourself and your blog's a good site, you're a good writer, the stuff you put in makes it unique, just as you are, and that's what makes us love you......and love you and sebastien.

  2. Hrm, well I guess im not a kid anymore. Last year of being a teenager! But I haven't really lived, and thus, i kinda am like a 14yo :P. But anyways, go help those kids. They sure need it, I know I always acted tough, and still do. But i finally managed to find some friends that I don't need to act tough around. Its great, just being myself... or as close to myself as I can as possible, since I don't really know who I am anymore.

  3. We all need to collectively go after, and shame, those groups and individuals that oppose anti-bullying measures. They are truly the ones who deserve the shaming. The best thing we can do, is to make a very public horses ass out of the likes of McVety, Bishop Henry and Gwendolyn Landolt, who would like nothing more than to see more young gay teens hanging from a tree branch or a bullet through their heads with their brains splattered all over their parents new furniture. Their words and actions are the root cause of homphobia and bullying, it's long past time they be held accountable for their actions. They want religious freedom, we'll give it to them in exchange for the public humiliation that they so richly deserve. We need to call out the homophobes who support bullying and hand them their asses on a platter and would help put another nail in the coffin to the fallacy that religion justifies bigotry and hatred. That really needs to be done.

  4. Hi Scout....ok ok you're right...I don't know why I do that. I think it's because I was raised very strictly so I'm always second guessing myself...or seeking approval. But thanks for your kind words Scoutie I appreciate them. So I'll just be my crazy self in 2007....just crazier!!!!

    Hey Rashid....that's GREAT!!! You made it through those teenage years and found some friends who you can be yourself with...and love you just as you are...congratulations !!!!
    It sounds like this year is going to be YOUR year. And don't worry about not knowing who you are...But just like what you went through wuz the hard comes the fun part!!! :)

    Happy New Year brother!!!!

    Hi Waterboy!! You know I agree with you. And believe me I'm not letting people like the porker McVety out of my sight...oink....until he's bacon!!
    I only wish the kids themselves could set up an anti-bullying website that they could use to talk about the particular problems in their schools. So adults could be alerted and put pressure on school officials to do something about it. I also think the gay community should set-up and fund some kind of Safe School Project. I don't blame gay people who have survived high school hell who just want to get on with their lives, and not look back. It's only human. But I think we have to take more responsibility for what's going on in schools. It's too easy to say these are other people's children so they should do something about it. But they are the youngest and most vulnerable members of OUR community. So we've got to help as well. I'm going to do some research to find out what's out there. I think it would also be a good idea to try to get our gay media to do more stuff on bullying. You know at a recent gatherimg of gay men I asked anyone who had been bullied in school coz they were gay to put up their hands. And everybody did.It's really incredible that so many people are bullied in this country...and so few people care or do anything about it...So our community is full of scarred and emotionally stunted people and self destructive practices. We help the kids. We help ourselves...

  5. Shiva8:24 PM

    I seem to myself to have a disposition towards homosexuality, but I fight it with all my might. I refuse to think of myself as gay. I must be strong, as an only child, to save my family line.

    I will understand that you will tell me to be myself. No. I am myself. I must hate one part of myself to strengthen the other. I will not give in. I will not.

    Suicide will not come into the picture. Since I am not remotely suspect I have never had to cope, and I can't even imagine harming myself.

  6. Hi Shiva!!

    Well least you know me well enough to know what I was going to say! :)
    And you're right...I would tell you that you should be yourself because like everyone else you just have one life to live...and you can't run away from who you really are. And why should you? You've done nothing wrong and you ARE beautiful. But that doesn't mean that it isn't really hard because of the ridiculous prejudice aied at gays. So I'm not going to lecture you or put any more pressure on you than you already have. Just remember that anti-gay prejudice is fading away slowly but surely. Right now it might appear crushing but ten years from now you may well wonder what the fuss was all about.
    So do what you have to do to survive...and know that I support you...and the only thing I would want you to be is happy. But know that one thing is for can't be happy be fighting yourself. It just leads to sadness and degradation. Being gay isn't just about's about who you love. And love is always beautiful and anyone who says it isn't is just nuts. But don't just take that from me...use the internet to find out more about gay youth and support programs available to help people struggling with their identity. You can do that discreetly and nobody needs to know. It's for you to figure out eventually.I know you'll realize what's good for you...and all the people who love you. And whatever you decide you know you can ALWAYS count on my support. Stay in touch and hopefully one day you'll be able to write and say that you know what? It wasn't as hard as I thought it was. And now I'm really happy. That would be one of the best presents I could ever get.
    Good luck Shiva!!! :)