Yikes! The year is almost over. Time to make some resolutions. And ....as usual..... apologize for my numerous trangressions. For being too angry and sometimes too stoopid. For putting in all those crude photoshops, little videos and sexy guys. And not enough stuff about the concerns of my lesbian sisters. For embarrassing my elders and sometimes even my great rainbow coloured freedom cause.
And of course.... for going on and on about Sebastien......
I'm not apologizing for shouting out my love for him. But for maybe making it sound like being a couple or married is the only way to be gay and happy. I know that many gay people are single by choice or because they haven't found that special someone. And that while some are very lonely others are very happy. Human beings find many way to love. And all of them are good.
So I hope my happiness, and my playing around with Sebastien didn't get on anyone's nerves. Or make them feel sad or put down. You see Sebastien doesn't usually read my blog when he's here. But when he's abroad he does. So I was just having some fun.
Besides I didn't really plan to talk about him so much. It just happened. Starting with the fact that it turned out to be the Year of the Gay Couple...
The homophobe hordes said it was about gay marriage. But I knew it was just a way to devalue what we felt for each other.
And who can forget Brokeback Mountain?And all the parodies that followed. And the way they mocked our love.
That made me really mad. And made the personal political. Then came the Dawson shootings which really shook me up. And brought back bad memories. And one way to cope with the situation was to write about Sebastien.
And how he saved my life.
But you already knew... and I'm not sorry about that either. Even though it was really personal. And made me look really bad.
What I do truly regret is that between attacking the Harper neocon nazis and fighting the religious wingnuts for gay marriage, I didn't do enough to help the cause of our precious gay kids. And do more to try to stop the bigots and the bullies from hurting them.
"It was horrible. Every day, I was teased and teased, everyone calling me gay,fag,queer, and I would always act like it didn't bug me...But I was crying inside me.."
So kids like Hamed don't have to die. And kids like Robby don't have to feel so alone.
"I fall to the hard, cold ground
The others look and laugh at my plight
Blood pours from my nose
I am not a pretty sight I try to stand again, but fall.
To the others I call
But they don't care..."
But I do. I care a lot. I KNOW how much they are suffering. I want the gay community to do a lot more to help these bullied kids. I want us to get organized, and put pressure on schoolboards to introduce anti-bullying and diversity programs.
I want us to hire lawyers and go after the bullies and their parents. I want us to turn the cops on them. And embarrass them publicly. And if everything else fucking fails I want us to organize into fighting groups. And beat the bullies to a bloody pulp.
I'll volunteer for that...
But I also want gay kids to understand that being gay isn't a curse..... it's awesome!! And that gay love isn't ugly or silly. It's beautiful and super strong. Just look at Sebastien and me. It's been almost ten years now. Salut mon amour!!
I want them to know that they have the right to fall in love with other kids. And hold hands and hug and kiss openly just like the straight kids do. That's why I put in the little videos of young lovers in love.
To make them laugh and give them hope. And always try to encourage them not to give up.
And judging from a few e-mails and comments I've received at least I made some laugh...
So I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep on doing that. As well as putting in a few of our gay pictures too.
Just so they understand that our glorious struggle for freedom may be hard. Just as our victory will be super sweet.
But that getting there will also be a lot of fun!!!!!
This year was the year of the gay couple.
Next year the kids come first....