I must say the Nazi Pope's decision to launch a Holy War against Muslims was quite a shock. I couldn't believe what what he had to say about the Prophet Mohammed, I mean considering the Crusades and all that....... Just like I can't believe what these Fascist Mullahs are saying about him. Considering how many people they've murdered in Iran. But then you see I'm supporting both sides in this Holy War. All I ask is that they mercilessly slaughter each other.
I mean what a mess.
"We shall break the cross and spill the wine. ... you will have no choice but Islam or death..."
Isn't it great?
Talk about manna or wafers or falafels from heaven. Halley loo Jah! Ali Hack Bar! If this doesn't persuade reasonable people everywhere that the planet needs crazy religion like it needs global warming or a collision with a massive asteroid, nothing will.
Although I wouldn't want anything to happen to the Nazi Pope. He's a far too useful idiot. I figure if he survives another five years, without getting whacked by the Mafia or Opus Dei for damaging the brand, he should reduce the Vatican to something resembling der Fuhrer bunker. On the last day of the Second World War. I'm sure Herr Ratfinger remembers it well.
In fact, to show you how concerned I am about El Popo's safety, I have built him a whole new Popeymobile for free. Just in time for his upcoming visit to Turkey.
Oh I know it's not as stylish as the other one. And he won't be able to show off his fancy collection of Prada shoes, Gemelli robes, Gucci sunglasses, and of course his queeny collection of weird hats.
But when he arrives in Turkey it just might come in handy.
“The person who made these unfortunate and arrogant comments, Benedict XVI, will go down in history in the same category as Hitler and Mussolini,”
Wow. What a low blow. Doesn't that insensitive Turkish lout know that Ratfinger served ....I mean fought the Fuhrer faithfully until the day he died? And that his brief fling with Mussolini was just a simmering passion for anything italian? Like black shirts and Gucci glasses.
On the other hand... when you take a closer look at the Dope's reasons for declaring Holy War on Muslim countries, that Turkish politician isn't too far off the mark. It turns out to be all about that old Nazi obsession. Liebensraum. Or grabbing other people's territory.
Benny wants a chance to make more converts in Muslim lands. So he can build up his sagging brand, get more money and power. And tell more people in more countries what to do, how to live their lives according to the twisted policies of the castrati at the Vatican. Who want to force us all to put faith before reason. Just like the crazy mullahs do.
Hmmm....I don't think it's going to work. It may have worked for this happy couple. Aww... isn't it nice that they're still together? But there are only so many goatfuckers in the world..
And besides doesn't he remember the case of that Christian convert in Afghanistan? It wasn't just the monstrous mullahs who wanted to kill him. It was the whole damm country. They were practically fighting each other for a chance to slit his throat.
Our soldiers may be dying to save them from the Taliban. But who is going to save them from themselves? Not El Popo. He's too busy trying to save himself. If he apologizes anymore, he might as well convert. And change his name to Osama Bin Benny.
But details details....at least for now thanks to my new super Popeymobile, the flashy and flamboyant Ratfinger will not only be safe from the filthy mob aka the arab "street". By the time he visits Turkey, he should also have a brand new outfit, to go with his brand new crusade.
Isn't he lovely?
As his enormous, heavily armoured convoy moves through the empty streets of Istanbul, he can kick up his heels in the back of my little Popo tank, or even raise his arm like he did in the good old days. Or belt out a couple of sieg heils like only the Bavarians can. (It's soundproof.) Or even act out his fantasy of entering Mecca and Medina at the head of an army of pigs. I think I can fit five or six chubby little porkers in there with him.
And nobody will be able to see him or know what he was doing in the back of the Popeymobile. Until the day I release the tape, taken by my hidden camera, to the entire Muslim world. The Pope, the Pigs, and the Koran should be a big hit. Bigger than Paris Hilton's Noisy Fuck. And everyone saw that one.
Seriously though, the day I'm waiting for, is the day when nobody even cares what this twisted old inquisitor, with his feet planted firmly in the 14th century, and his head shoved firmly up his ass, has to say about anything. Like I don't.
He's always telling non believers like me who I can love or fuck or marry. His minions are always making life hard for gay kids. Or gay parents. But I just say why doesn't this crazy old vampire just fuckoff back to the 14th Century where he obviously belongs. And leave us all alone. Before I'm forced to reach for a stake and a hammer. Or a giant garlic suppository.
Maybe you think that's a bit harsh. But never think that he didn't know what he was doing.Or that he isn't dangerous
On the other hand I don't want to take sides. The wingnut Muslims are also fanatically anti-gay , moronic and barbarous. So I'm hoping for a fight to the finish. That both sides lose and eat each other. And the rest of us get to live in a world free from crazy religion.
So come on holy warriors. Are you men or mice or chickens or pigs?
You know god is on your side. So slaughter away as you always have.
And don't you dare take any prisoners...