Friday, July 07, 2006

The George and Steve Comedy Hour










We interrupt my summer again to bring you this morning tv special...Live from the White House it's the George and Steve Show!!(applause) Wow what a proud moment that must have been for our wannabe President. Not only did the Bush regime provide more flags and sailors than a Broadway production. And force even Dick Cheney to attend. They even gave Harper his very own shiny Presidential Seal. Just like the real President has. Yup the Bushies really put on quite a show to please their little puppet.

Too bad it was such a comedy of errors...

Starting with Harper's bizarre decision to begin the news conference with a lengthy statement in French. It was obviously another blatant attempt to play to the soft nationalists in Quebec. The ones he is counting on to give him a majority. But it backfired horribly.

I turned on the CBC's French news network and for some reason they were translating into French, the English translation of Harper's speech in French. You could hear the English translation in the background. So any unilingual French viewers would have assumed that Harper was speaking in English. And since his lips were out of synch he looked really weird as well. Like a puppet or a marionette. Ooh la la. Bam. Uh Oh. Talk about making poutine out of those Quebec brownie points.

Then when the questions began they were all about North Korea and all of them aimed at Bush. So in a desperate attempt to include Harper, the Chimp then declared that the North Koreans were also a threat to Canada. They might fire a missile at the U.S. and hit us instead. And the Harper poodle rolled over on its back and agreed. Even though the North Koreans can't even get it to fly. And can't even make reliable bicycles.

Yikes. Talk about a threat to real estate values in Vancouver. All those expensive homes are worth at least 100-thousand dollars less tonight. Do you think the owners can sue?

I didn't think it could get worse than that. But it did. It degenerated into outright farce when CTV's Robert Fife asked Bush if he liked his personal gift from President Harper. (A Calgary Stampede belt buckle and a stetson) And Bush who hadn't received them yet was left fumbling with his belt as if he was about to take off his pants. While Harper just stood there with his mouth open. God knows what unseemly Adam and Steve act could have ensued if the Chimp had actually dropped his drawers.

By this time I was lying on the floor laughing so hard I thought I would die. A belt buckle and a stetson? Is Harper the President of Canada or Alberta? I didn't think anything could top that. But it did. The final humiliation came with the grand finale.

Bush called on any reporter who was celebrating a birthday to join him on stage for a group hug. And about three or four of them did. Leaving Harper looking on from the sidelines spluttering something like "if anyone else comes up here I'm really going to have to object." But nobody paid him any attention.

The only way he could have got the media to focus on him again is if he had put on an evening gown and a big blonde wig and started singing "Happy Birthday Mithta Prethident..." Like she did.

For a moment I almost felt sorry for Harper. He looked so miserable standing there watching as the news conference was hijacked by the hated media. Looking on like the nerd at the high school dance. As Bush hugged all those reporters instead of him. Boy that must have hurt.

I mean put yourself in his shoes. He sells out his country's economic interests. Allows the Americans to keep a billion dollars of the money they stole from us. He cancels plans to decriminalize the possession of small amounts of marijuana. Says he'll jail more kids and build more prisons instead. Blows the religious right by promising to persecute gays and lesbians. Spends 15-billion dollars on the military in just one week. All just to get a pat on the head from the criminal Bush regime. And then they treat him like that?

He doesn't even get a whole news conference with his hero Chimp Bush. They don't even call him Mr Prime Minister. He only gets to have the Presidential Seal for an hour. He doesn't even get a Chimpy hug. They just call him Steve. And treat him like one.

It's probably good enough for Harper. I can hear him now. "He called me Steve. He called me Steve. He likes me. He really likes me..." But as a proud Canadian it's not good enough for me. I think Prime Ministers should act like Prime Ministers. Not Presidents. Or flunkies. Ugh.

Oh yes. I was glad to see the end of that humiliating little comedy show in Washington today.

Too bad our horror show continues...

UPDATE......UPDATE......UPDATE

Turns out the Americans noticed how the birthday boys got the cake while Harper was left with just the crumbs. Good question Robert asks. Where was our dumbo media? Looking the other way? Joining in the fun? Or just helping our pathetic wannabe President lick up the crumbs?

18 comments:

  1. I watched this sham at the gym tonight and I had to look away. What a disgusting show of hypocrisy and I thought men were arrested for giving blow jobs in public, but Bush pulled out before he shot and Harper was standing there begging for more. Too bad for Harper actually because Bush let him know exactly where Canada stands with the US. You agree with us "Steve" everything will be alright, jsut come along for the ride and you'll be one of the good ole Texas boys. Shameful.

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  3. Steve, you can't be serious. Harper blowing the war criminal, that's your idea of leadership? He sticks to his guns alright, literally.

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  5. Figure of speech Steve, something like the old sayin' kissin ass.

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  6. I would love to join conversations on sites like this but it appears that too many comments are being hijacked by self-serving web trolls who's names might start with S.

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  8. Can we please get off this righty-lefty crap? This thread is about that dumb photo op with our supposed PM getting all googley eyed over the most inept, corrupt criminal that has ever been called President of the United States. I don't really care if Bush/Harper are right or left or centre. Call him up for the assholes that they are. I'm sure the families of 2,500 dead soldiers and tens of thousands of dead innocent Iraqs would agree. What did they die for? Weapons of Mass Destruction? Nope. Spreading of freedom and Democracy? Nope. Greed, profiteering and money laundering scams? You betcha. And for gay people who give these creeps one ounce of respect is kind of like being in a snuff porn flick.

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  11. Steve, bite me. You have provided nothing to convince anyone of the merit of your heros. Give us some evidence instead of just stating what great leaders they are. All you do is throw shit at walls and hope some of it sticks. Supporting murdering dictators overseas? Huh?
    You got one thing right, Bush anti-christ or whatever he is.

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  13. Steve Says: " Still waiting for an intelligent response from you.."

    Likewise....

    Actually Steve, I don't live in the woods, although the woods are really nice this time of year.:) There is a vast country called Canada outside of the GTA. I live in one of the fastest growing cities in Canada, Vernon, in the Okanagan Valley, which is a great place to live I might add, having grown up in the Toronto area myself. I work for an American based company and I have a pretty good grasp on US/Canadian economic issues. It is a thriving economy way out here, and we are off our asses and working with about a 5% unemployment rate.
    On to your point about our disgraceful leader:
    I don't like Harper: his leadership style, his ideology, his choice of cabinet ministers, his stance on environmental issues, his unwillingness to be forthright with Canadians about the extent of his ideology, his economic policies, his disrespect for multi-culturalism, his disdain for the media and accurate reporting of government affairs. The list could go on, but I'll stop there. That is my point of view and it is shared by the 68% of Canadians who did not vote for his party in the January election.

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  14. Ok White flag. Stop shooting for a second guys, it's only me. Them bullets is really flying. I've got too many enemies out there. I don't want to be mown down by friendly fire! Seriously though fellas good discussion. If anybody ever ever needed proof that we're a really diverse community they got it! That's good. As for me I respect Steve's desire to support a party with right-wing economic views. I strongly disagree but the more views the better -- on economic matters. What I can't understand is why to promote those views he feels he must support a party that doesn't support his right to be an equal citizen of this society. If it's right-wing economics he wants why doesn't he just join the Liberal Party? It might not be as right-wing as Steve might like, but it's really not that far off. For me it's a lot more simple. I don't settle for any compromises when it comes to having exactly the same rights as any other Canadian.I want my rights now. And I'll fight like hell until I get them.

    P.S. Steve are you trying to provoke me with that English avatar? If so you succeeded.:>) Although after England's pathetic performance in the World Cup I don't know how you dare. Talk about being attracted to lost causes...

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  15. Oh well the weekend is over, time to get back to serious stuff like work,
    I will return when King Jack and Queen Olivia are on the throne.

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  16. Now the thin skinned should be happy, and
    anyway I am not trying to provoke you with that Avatar Simon, you think you are so important that I uploaded it just for you, get real!.
    Harper a lost cause we shall see,as I said when do you think King Jack and his Queen will gain control and quickly bankcrupt this country.!
    Then Gay Pride could have a huge unememployed contingent thanking Jack for their EI payments,and we will have more lazy bums, sitting at the coffee shops all day on Church Street looking all lonely and lost.

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  17. Oh by the way how did Canada do in the Soccer eh Simon, do you play sports,I am sure you like playing with balls.!

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  18. What am I going to do with brother Steve? I try to be nice to him but all he does is demand that I grow up, breaks up a string by deleting his comments, and then accuses me of thinking I'm too important because I made a joke about his England avatar.Hey Steve I was born in Scotland remember? Then to add insult to injury he questions whether I play with balls. What do you play with Steve? Tits? But yes I do play with balls, and pucks too. In fact I think I'm a pretty good hockey tennis and soccer player. I also have sixteen years of martial arts under my belts.So yes if you want to throw another insult at me you can now call me a dum jock. But I think you should just try to be nice. Nobody here is your enemy...

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